HISTORY 2012
Veteran Ace Brown Looks Good in Green
Ace Brown fired a solid net 67 to finish with a Green Jacket total of 346 to edge out a late season charge by CPR Stinson to win the coveted Green Jacket emblematic of Pretender golf supremacy. CPR's net 66 was good enough to win the event but his late season charge was not enough to oust the veteran Brown who won his first Green Jacket.
Going into the Calcutta round Ace was tied with Shunner Borland and Docme Dick Burns at 279 but both could not match Ace and finished 2nd and 4th respectively in the race for the jacket. CPR's late season heroics saw him climb into the runnerup spot with Shunner. Scores and pics to follow. If you have any pics you want to share send them to [email protected].
Team C. N. Madsen Wins Calcutta
C. N. Madsen - Sidonio - Killeen and White won the Calcutta with a score of 21 under. The Commish's team (CPR, Mr. Bean, and Hamburgler) were runnersup at 18 under and Knuckles' KnuckleHeads (Ace, BeerHead and Bruno) took third at 16 under.
Athletics for Kids
With all the winning Calcutta teams donating their prize money to the cause we raised over 2,700.00 for this year's charity, Athletics for Kids. (http://www.a4k.ca/). Please check out their website as they do good work and I'm sure everyone on tour is pleased to help them out as this season's charitable cause.
2013 Season
We are already looking forward to the 2013 season which will start Saturday April 6th, 2013. With Killer Killeen and El Cid Sidonio who spared this year expressing their desire to return next season as regulars along with, we hope, Whizzer Backie (knee surgery) we will likely see the tour return to 24 regulars next year.
Possible trip destinations include returning to Kamloops to play the newly renovated Kamloops Golf Club, Bellingham to play Loomis Trial and Semiahmoo and Pemberton to play Big Sky and The Meadows at Pemberton. There is also a chance we travel to Peachland to play the Ponderosa course which has been completely redone by Greg Norman and should be in play by next June.
Finally, next year's Calcutta is earmarked to be played at the new Pagoda Ridge course in Langley on Saturday June 22nd, 2013. The course (google Pagoda Ridge) should be opened sometime this summer and looks very promising.
Kudos
Thanks to all our players who again showed their competitiveness, fair play, and generosity throughout the year. Thanks to BeerHead and his wife Maureen (mostly Maureen and Docme for delegating the food) for again hosting the year end bbq. Thanks to Dawgballs Taylor whose tireless work to improve the website is greatly appreciated. Thanks to Knuckles Garries for working with the Charity and Killer Killeen for his work at the 19th hole collecting for the charity. Last but not least a big thankyou to Stretch Grundy for an amazing job as this year's Director of Handicaps. Stretch was able to convince, cajole and subtlety threaten to the point where every PGA member now has a legitimate handicap.
Also a big shout out to Alex Mr. Bean Volpatti and KPMG for donating a ton of prizes. Thanks Bean!!
Keep working on your games and see you next season.
June 19
Dr. Golf Makes His Picks
With every Pretender having now fully digested Killer's odds as conjured by Bodog Europe, long time mysterious entity Dr. Golf weighs in on Saturday's Calcutta and the Green Jacket Race.
Dr. Golf says Bodog is Close
In the opinion of celebrated golf know it all Dr. Golf the odds posted earlier by Bodog Europe are workable but as usual he sees things just a bit differently. Odds are not given but Dr. Golf lists his top three choices for Calcutta and Green Jacket stardom.
Calcutta
Before we go about the business of predictions one must consider the playing surface. Furry Creek delivered by the now departed Robert Muir Graves was first opened in 1993 as a private course but soon opened to the public in 1994 when management could not find enough members. The prevailing thought at the time was because the course was too hard. While Furry has been softened a bit over the years it remains a very difficult but short course with umpteen places to lose balls and shots. It places a premium on course management and rewards a conservative well thought out game plan. However, with 6 par 5 holes of which only the 4th and 11th are considered true 3 shot par 5's the gambler who can keep his nerve can be nicely rewarded.
First - Team Garries: 4 mid range 'caps who generally keep the ball in play. Handy when one considers all the trouble at Furry Creek on just about every hole. Strong overall group but will rookie Bruno feel the Calcutta heat?
Second - Team Burns: If Docme can coach and "manage" his teams performances they look like the best chance to usurp the Garries squad. Will get a boost if El Cidrick Murdoch shows up severely hungover.
Third - Team Taylor - Once again 4 mid range 'caps who keep the ball in play. Look for Hoss to surprise as although not long he is now one of the tour's straightest drivers and rarely loses a ball. Good qualities on a touch course for a 22 cap.
Green Jacket Race
Winner - Shunner: His early season scores were all throw aways and has been playing very well the last few events so may be our first repeat Green Jacket winner. Has the right blend of risk taking and conservatism to not be intimidated by Furry. Look for a Calcutta score of net 69 to set the standard at 348.
Both Ace and Docme currently tied with Shunner have a chance but neither have the tee shot consistency to really challenge. Docme's power on the par 5's could give him some advantage.
If looking for a dark horse or someone from farther down the current leaders list look squarely at Lefty Sherk and HappyFeet Walters. Lefty, playing with his golf "mentor" Docme will receive instruction on every shot and the veteran may just have enough to grab the spoils if he can fight the Furry Creek demons has he has the length to exploit the short par 5's.. HappyFeet has dis-spelled the myth that he aims everything at least one fairway to the left and has been hitting the ball consistently straight for most of the season despite the tour's most colourful swing. A round of net 68 just might be enough to get him the Green Jacket.
BeerHead: His par 3 prowess won't be enough.
Citizen: Rookie will cave to Calcutta and Fuzzy pressure.
CPR: To many trouble spots for this player on the rise.
Commish - Not straight, not smart, not a chance.
Stretch - Too tall, his height will further distort this already short course and will mentally upset our 'cap Guru.
I checked with my bookie contacts in London at Bodog Europe to see how they handicapped the internationally famous upcoming Calcutta at Fury Creek
Here is the line as of 10:00 am June 19
Garries. 7/5
Burns. 8 - 1
Carter. 15 - 1
Borland. 25 - 1
Madsen. 50 - 1
Taylor. 75 - 1
The odds makers were concerned about the apparent amount of sand bagging. In spite of this they indicated they will stand behind the odds provided all golfers scoring net 67 or less will be disqualified. As professional odds makers they confirm that net scores of 67 or less are statistically impossible. This could be a serious blow to the Carter team.
Paul Killeen
Calcutta Teams Determined
Using a weighted handicap system the teams for the annual Pretenders Golf Association Calcutta were drawn yesterday afternoon. To accommodate the spares who helped us out in the past we have added a sixth time so our first time is now at 9:50 am at Furry Creek. Please arrive at the course no later than 9:15 am. With the added group the payout is now 1,200.00 and will be awarded thusly:
First - 600.00 (150.00 per)
2nd - 400.00 (100.00 per)
3rd - 200.00 (50.00 per)
Team Captains are in BOLD and are responsible for collecting all monies and remitting to the Commissioner.
9:50 - Garries(15)/Brown(18) - Player(21)/Davidson(22)
10 - Borland(8)/Walters(18) - Tibble(21)/Odendaal(33)
10:10 - Burns(9)/Goulding(20) - Murdoch(18)/Sherk(23)
10:20 - Madsen(8)/Sidonio(18) - Killeen(15)/White(36)
10:30 - Taylor(15)/Grundy(18) - Cain(18)/Alexander(22)
10:40 - Carter(15)/Maynard(18) - Stinson(25)/Volpatti(26)
As in the past each team counts 2 net scores per hole but each player MUST have his score counted at least 6 times.
All PGA rules are in effect. Since it looks like it could be wet we will determine if we play summer or winter rules after consulting with the course pro. KP will be on the 107 yard 5th hole.
Green Jacket Race
This is the closest Green Jacket Race in recent history with Shunner, Ace and Docme all tied atop the leader board at 279. 2 shots back are BeerHead and HappyFeet Flintstone and all together there are 10 players within 8 shots. Should one of the leaders play poorly and someone come up with a great round any of the top 10 could be wearing green on Saturday evening. Please click "scores" for details.
BBQ Dinner
Our dinner budget was compromised by too much spending on the actual golf outings this year so we are asking each player for 10.00 to offset the cost of renting the plates and cutlery etc. Please give your 10.00 along with your 50.00 Calcutta money to your Captains who will in turn give the money to the Commissioner who will then give BeerHead the extra 240.00.
We will post Dr. Golf's predictions on the Green Jacket race and the Calcutta later in the week.
June 13
Three Battle Belmont to Share Win
Ace Brown and Lefty Sherk along with Hoss Alexander adapted best to the soft conditions at Belmont to share net medalist honors at the Belmont Golf Club each recording 67's in the PGA's 5th event of the season. Ace has now firmly placed himself as one of the favorites to win the coveted green jacket.
Ace's team of HappyFeet Walters, Teddy Budai and Warthogg Odendaal won the Hero & Zero team competition with a combined net 139. HappyFeet won the long drive on #10 and BeerHead Player took the KP on # 14. Please see "scores" for full details.
Tripper Cup Matches
The Tripper Cup teams were decided by lottery at the 19th hole. The Tripper Cup Matches return after a one year hiatus and will be played this weekend (June 9 & 10) in the Osoyoos/Oliver area. Saturday at Nk'Mip (tee times start at 12:44 pm) feature 2 man team matches and Sunday at Fairview Mountain (tee times start at 11:23 am) feature singles matches. This year the singles match will not count for the Green Jacket. The Green Jacket will be awarded for the best 4 net scores and the Calcutta.
Here are the teams drawn:
Docme's Darling DragQueens - Captain: Docme Dick Burns
Bruno Davidson - Ace Brown - El Cid Sidonio - Warthogg Odendaal - Citizen Cane - Shunner Borland - Knuckles Garries - CockNose Madsen - Stretch Grundy - CPR Stinson - BeerHead Player
Chowder's CockSuck the Moose Men - Captain: Chowder Carter
Mr. Bean Volpatti - Muscles White - JMac McKenzie - Dawgballs Taylor - Tiki Tibble - Mumbles Goulding - El Cidrick Murdoch - Hoss Alexander - Killer Killeen* - HappyFeet Walters - Rothwell/Player (for Lefty Sherk).
*Vice Captain
The 2 man team matches will be drawn at the 19th hole after our Friday practice round. The singles matches will be drawn at dinner on Saturday at Nk'Mip after the team matches.
Tripper Cup Scoring/Rules
1. All match scoring will be net scores.
2. All previous PGA rules are in effect including:
a. Everyone must putt out regardless of the situation unless the putt is for a 9. Putts within 1 foot may be given by your opponent if they so choose.
b. Play all OB and crap etc like its a lateral hazard. Take a drop within 2 club lengths (no closer to the hole) and play away with a one shot penalty. The time limit to search for lost balls will be 3 minutes and will be policed by your opponent.
Each match is worth 3 points. 1 point for each the front and back nines plus one point for the overall match winner. The team matches (net scores) will be low vs low and high vs high with 2 pts available on each hole as in the past. If a match is tied after nine or 18 each team will be awarded 1/2 point.
18 points are available for the day one team matches with 36 points available during the day two singles matches. 54 points are available in total. The team that wins at least 28 points will be declared the Tripper Cup Champions.
Good luck to everyone and both teams!
power fades.......CockNose Madsen was not missed at Belmont - no one even asked about him.....Knuckles Garries and Bruno Davidson were asked about by several chaps.....Lefty Sherk's shared win at Belmont gives him two victories matching Tiger Woods on that other tour......Docme Dick Burns (78) shot an even par 35 on the front but faded down the stretch 3 putting four times and was passed by Shunner Borland's very solid round of 77 for low gross bragging rights....with the green jacket race heating up the scores on average were the best of the season......
May 29
Hero & Zero
The 5th PGA event of the season will be played in Langley at Belmont Golf Club where we will play a new team game, Hero & Zero. Each foursome will add together their top net score (Hero) along with their low net score (The Zero) to accumulate their team score. Then the middle two team members will decide if the Zero should get his portion of the prize or if it should go to the Hero. Our first tee time is 11 am so please arrive no later than 10:30 am
See handicap page for your new cap . Spares cap is listed below.
The KP hole will be on the downhill 190 yard par 3 14th and, after a long spell of having no long drive contest, we will have one on the short & tight 300 yard par 4 10th.
Foursomes -
11 am - Sherk - Killeen - Goulding - Player
11:09 - Borland - Volpatti - Cain - Taylor
11:18 - Grundy - Tibble - Stinson - Sidonio
11:27 - Brown - Budai - Odendaal - Walters
11:36 - Burns - White - Alexander - Carter
Tripper Cup Draw
The 2 Tripper Cup teams will be drawn via lottery at the 19th hole on Saturday. After the draw the historical Captains, Docme Dick Burns and Commish Carter will set up the matches for Saturday's 2 man team matches at Nk'Mip as well name their vice Captain. The Tripper Cup goes the weekend of June 9 & 10 in Osoyoos/Oliver. The singles matches will be played at the jewel of the south Okanagan, Fairview Mountain.
on the fringe - once again we thank spares Killer Killeen 15 (Madsen), Teddy Budai 28 (Garries) and ElCid Sidonio 18 (Davidson) for coming to complete the foursomes....the Tripper Cup will feature two 12 man teams playing 2 man team matches on Saturday and single matches on Sunday.....
May 15
Bruno Edges Stretch at Swanny
Our 4th event played at the Resort course at Swan-e-set was led by our new statsman Stretch Grundy whose net 70 looked to be a winner until Bruno Davidson, playing in the final group, recorded the only score in the 60's with a net 69 to win by one. Shunner Borland won the KP on #16 with a shot to about 6 feet. Please see "scores" for details.
The Pink Ball game was closely contested as well with captain CPR Stinson calling the shots to lead the firm of Lefty Sherk, Mumbles Goulding, Commish Carter and himself to pink ball glory. The commish lost the ball on the 16th hole tee shot. As is tradition all 5 players who lost the pink ball each bought a jug of beer at the 19th hole. Most groups did a great job keeping the "pinkie" playing at the Resort course which presents many challenges with no where to miss on most holes.
Green Jacket Race
With the season now officially at the half way pole the Green Jacket race is beginning to take shape but with Sunday at the Tripper Cup and the Calcutta as "must" count rounds anyone on tour still has a chance.
The half way point leaders feature a front running group of Lefty Sherk, HappyFeet Walters, and Ace Brown with CockNose Madsen, Shunner Borland, Stretch Grundy and Docme Dick Burns poised should the front runners falter.
Event #5 - Belmont June 2nd 11 am
We now have a 3 week hiatus before the season gets serious with 4 rounds in June starting June 2nd at Belmont in Langley. The team game in Langley will be a 4 man competition called "Hero and Zero". The best and worst net scores will count so the team exercise will be to support your team mates as the worst score will be at least as important as the best score. The team whose combined score (best and worst net scores) wins. The the winning team can vote on if the "worst' score deserves to be included in the prizes or funnel the Zero's prize to the Hero.
Foursomes & Captains etc will be posted a few days before the event.
Tripper Cup
Don't forget we are going to play the Tripper Cup (Ryder Cup) again this year in Osoyoos the weekend of June 9/10. We have 4 spares (Killer Killeen - TeddyDonna Budai - El Cid1 Murdoch - ElCid2 Sidonio) coming to make 2 teams of 12 men each to play Ryder Cup style matches. The teams will be drawn by lottery and the first day 2 man team matches determined at the 19th hole at Belmont. As is tradition the teams will be captained by Docme Dick Burns and the Commissioner. The captains will announce their vice captains once the teams are drawn.
Westridge Inn
We chose the Westridge Inn because we have stayed there before and it suited our needs well. Some guys have had some problems getting through to the Westridge Inn via telephone likely due to challenges experiences by new ownership. The hotel's number is 1-800-977-8711. If you have tried before and left a message with no return call please call 1-250-535-3355 to contact the owner Ronnie (woman) direct. Ask to book rooms near the Lawn and Pool. The rate given for us is 129.00 for a room with 2 queen beds. Please let her know you are with the Tom Carter/Pretenders golf group.
Taps in.....Killer Killeen and Teddydonna Budai return to the tour at Belmont sparing for Knuckles and CockNose.....it will be our first time playing Hero & Zero so it will be interesting to see if the Zero is included in the prizing or thrown under the bus by his team mates.....
May 7
Updated Foursomes -
Warthogg - Docme - Mr. Bean - Hoss - 11am
Knuckles - Stretch - Ace - Tiki - 11:09
CPR - Lefty - Mumbles - Commish - 11:18
Dawgballs - Flintstone - Cocknose - Muscles - 11:27
Shunner - BeerHead - Bruno - Citizen - 11:36
Hazelmere Killed by Killeen
Playing in surprisingly good conditions on a sunny but cool day at the 50 year old Hazelmere Golf Club, Killer Killeen shot a net 69 to edge out Flintstone Walters' solid net 70 to win the day at the Pretenders third event of the season.
BeerHead Player who earned 11 putting points, hit the jackpot by drawing Killer who amassed 18 points (17 on the front side) and together their 29 points won the 2 man team event. Please click on "scores" for full details.
Charity Chosen - Its for the Kids!
After much debate this year's charity is Athletics for Kids. Please check out their website:
http://www.a4k.ca/ They help kids in financially challenged situations get involved in sports. Something we can all relate to.
Swan-e-set Sat. May 12th - The Return of Pinkie
A quick turn around takes us to Swan-e-set Bay Resort in Pitt Meadows for our annual Pink ball game this Saturday. The current forecast on Saturday for the area is sunny and 20 degrees. Tee times begin at 11 and include a small bucket of practice balls so please allow for extra time if you want to hit balls. For full Pink ball rules please click on "rules" and scroll down to Faggot. At this time we stress when (not if) you lose the pink ball the group has 2 minutes to find the ball. The time will be kept by the group Captain (and most likely by the group behind). Any time transgressions will receive severe sanctions.
Foursomes - CAPTAINS in BOLD
Warthogg - Docme - Mr. Bean - Hoss - 11am
Knuckles - Stretch - Bruno - Tiki - 11:09
CPR - Lefty - Mumbles - Commish - 11:18
Dawgballs - Flintstone - Cocknose - Muscles - 11:27
Shunner - BeerHead - Bruno - Citizen - 11:36
KP will be on the 140 yard par 3 16th hole.
out of the rough......Killer will miss at Swanny as this is the first event of the season where all 20 PGA regulars are in the field.....we have 2 weeks off after Swanny - returning Saturday June 2nd at Belmont in Langley.....nice to see Warthogg make his 2012 debut at Hazelmere...if you don't know the pga nicknames above you will be sanctioned.....
May 1
PGA Hurries to Hazelmere May 5th
The PGA kicks off the month of May with our third event of the season at Hazelmere Golf Club in South Surrey. Our tee times begin at 11 am so please be at the course about 10:30. The current forecast for Surrey on Saturday is mostly sunny and 13. However with the anticipated rain expected during the week everyone will play from the 6,100 yard White tees. See Handicaps page for your cap.
Play is available from the RED tees for those wearing a Dress. Kilts, skorts or skirts do not qualify as a Dress. A Dress is a full garment that must have shoulder straps.
Olympic Putting Team Game
The team game this week will be the Olympic putting game. Once everyone is on the green the foursome's Captain will determine who is furthest from the hole and successful putts will be rewarded points...4,3,2 & 1 from the longest to the shortest. If a player chips in he earns 5 points and the remaining putts are worth 3,2 and 1 point.
As in the past the Olympic team partners will be determined by a blind draw at the 19th hole. Each foursome is encouraged to determine internal two man teams by tossing a tee and wager on the outcome.
The KP contest will be at the 135 yard par 3 17th.
Prize Allotment
Low net - two sleeves & 2 lotto chances
runner up - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Olympic putting team - 2 sleeves - 2 lotto chances
KP - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Groups - Captain in Caps
11 am - Grundy - Player - White - Cain
11:09 - Walters - Madsen - Borland - Carter
11:17 - Taylor - Burns - Brown - Goulding
11:26 - Volpatti - Sherk - Odendaal - Alexander
11:35 - Tibble - Davidson - Stinson - Killeen
in the rough.....Knuckles Garries will miss the Hazelmere event with Killer Killeen once again stepping in to play....we are at in again a week Saturday (May 12th) returning to long time regular pga course Swan-e-set before taking a hiatus until June where we finish strong with Belmont (June 2nd) the trip (June 9/10 - Nk'Mip and Fairview Mountain) and the Calcutta at Furry Creek (June 23rd)
April 25
Lefty is Crowned King at The LinksPlaying with Docme Dick Burns who can't help but coach, PGA veteran Lefty Sherk shot a rock solid net 68 in blustery conditions at Kings Links to win the 2nd PGA event of the season. Ironically Lefty edged out Docme who fired a net 69. Ron "CPR" Stinson hit it to 4 feet to win the 13th hole KP contest.
The rotating Captain team game was won by the firm of Madsen - Cain - Player and Killeen whose 1 under par team score bested the field. Please click on "scores" for full details. Thanks to spare Hammer Smith for arranging another excellent outing at The Links for us.
May 5th - Hazelmere - Tee times start @ 11 am
The 3rd event of the season will be played May 5th at Hazelmere Golf Club in south Surrey. This is the first time the PGA has played Hazelmere as a group and for those who haven't played the now 50 year old course recently, major reno's were completed a few years ago to improve drainage so the course should be in good shape.
This is the first of the three West Coast Golf Group courses we will play this season. Swan-e-set (May 12th) and Belmont (June 2nd) follow.
The team game and foursomes will be posted next week.
cuts and draws....welcome back Warthogg Odendaal who will make his 2012 debut at Hazelmere....and once again Killer Killeen will spare, this time for Knuckles Garries....the team game will likey be the Olympic putting challenge but with a twist....Ron Stinson's nickname was changed by his group from 2PR (2 Putt Ron) to CPR "because his game is on life support".....
pril 18
Kings Links to Challenge PGA
The second event of the PGA season will feature one of the few true links courses in Canada as Kings Links by the Sea welcomes the PGA tour. The course has made some minor alterations (smaller lake on #10 and no water infront of # 15) but the greens have settled nicely and the course is currently playing mostly dry and fast. The current forecast in Delta for Saturday is mostly sunny and 14 Celsius.
Our tee times start at 10:06 so please arrived about 9:30 am. The course is located beside the Boundary Bay Airport. Here is a directions link:
http://www.kingslinks.ca/contactus_directions.php
Federal Government Contacts PGA
The honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Mininster of Canada, has contacted the PGA to request that we conform with the new upcoming old age regulations by pushing back the PGA age to play the white tees to 67 from 65. This will be discussed internally with the Handicap Directors and a decision will be made prior to tee off.
Commissioners note:
The handicaps for each event that are set by Director of Statistics Vic Grundy are calculated using the slope and rating of the blue tees.
If you are eligible and choose to play from the white or forward tees your handicap will be adjusted to reflect the change in slope and rating.
For this Saturdays event at The Kings Links if you play the white tees your handicap will be two strokes less than indicated on the web site.
The Game - Prizes
This week's game will be "St. Alice" a game with rotating Captains where two net scores count on each hole. For full details please click on "Rules" and go to "St. Alice".
KP will be on the 131 yard par 3 13th hole.
Low net - 2 sleeves - 2 lotto chances
runner-up - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
St. Alice team winner - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
KP - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Foursomes & Captains (in bold)
10:06 - Volpatti( 23) - Davidson(22) - Taylor(15)- Carter (15)
10:15 - Grundy - Garries (15) - Brown (18) - Alexander (22)
10:24 - Burns (9) - Tibble (21) - Sherk (25) - Stinson (25)
10:33 - Goulding (20) - Borland (9) - Walters (18) - White (36)
10:42 - Player (21) - Killeen (19) - Cain (19) - Madsen (8)
Captains are responsible for collecting 10.00 each from their playing partners for prizes. Please give the money to Knuckles.
Out of bounds......Killer Killeen is back this week subbing for Warthogg Odendaal, we expect Louie to return on May 5th at Hazelmere.....Docme Dick Burns best ever & one of the best ever PGA scores was a one under par 71 at Kings Links a few years ago.....our round at Hazelmere will be our first at the south Surrey track....
April 11
Sunny Squamish for Season OpenerPlaying under sunny skies on a crystal clear day the Pretenders Golf Association's opener on Squamish Valley featured ideal conditions with Tiki Tibble taking medalist honours with a solid net 68. He was followed by spare Ted Budai who fashioned a net 69. The team Vienna event was won by the Mustache Men who rode a hot Budai to a 16 under team score. KP was won by Dawgballs Taylor. For all results please click on "scores".
Event #2 - April 21st @ Kings LinksThe second event of the season goes Saturday April 21st at Kings Links in Delta next to the Boundary Bay airport. Our tee times start at 10:06. Please arrive at the course at 9:30 am so we can organize.
Foursomes and team game will be posted next week.
last six inches down....thanks to the spares for coming out on Saturday, El Cid Murdoch, TeddyDonna Budai, Killer Killeen and El Cid2 Sidonio....rookies Steve Cain and Bruce Davidson made successful debuts (no sanctions) and were given pga names of Citizen and Bruno respectively....golf trip tip from Lefty Sherk: when renting a car make sure you get two keys and make sure two different people have one each.....losing the only key cost Lefty 600.00 in Palm Springs this winter.....
April 4
PGA 2012 Opener this Saturday
It appears the weatherman will co-operate for the 2012 PGA opener at Squamish forecasting mostly sunny skies and a springlike 13 Celsius! Our times begin at 10:36 am so please be at the course about 10 am. We have added a 6th group to accommodate the interest from some spares to play in the opener.
PGA Rules - Group Captain
Here are the "PGA" rules we will start the season with. Our hope is that they will make for an even playing field but we must be aware of our pace of play so each group will be assigned a Captain who will be responsible for enforcing the rules and making sure his group plays at a reasonable pace.
1. "PGA" rule in effect: All OB, crap, ponds and other areas in which a ball can be lost will be played as a lateral hazard. If the ball is lost the player has 2 minutes to locate the ball as timed by the group Captain. If the ball can't be found within the allotted time please drop within 2 club lengths of where the ball entered the hazard and continue play. One stroke penalty.
2. The max score for PGA scoring purposes on any single hole will be 9 for everyone regardless of what the new official golf handicap rules dictate. Once you have made 9 strokes please pickup. For official handicapping purposes only, please follow the new rules as dictated by the Royal & Ancient and CGA.
3. No gimme or conceded putts unless the putt in question is for a 9.
4. Winter rules or summer rules will be determined by the conditions at each course. At Squamish we will play winter rules (6 inch improved) through the green.
Tee Times - Foursomes - Handicaps
Here are the groups for Saturday's play. We will be playing the 4 man team game Vienna. Please click on "rules" for game details. Group CAPTAINS are in capitals and will collect the 10.00 prize money from each of their team members and police the rules as above.
10:36 - GRUNDY 17 - Sherk 24 - Tibble 20 - Player 21
10:45 - BURNS 8 - Madsen 7 - Borland 7 - Murdoch 18
10:54 - ALEXANDER 23 - White 34 - Killeen 18 - Goulding 19
11:03 - TAYLOR 14 - Stinson 22 - Walters 18 - Sidonio 17
11:12 - GARRIES 14 - Cain 18 - Davidson 18 - Volpatti 22
11:21 - CARTER 14 - Brown 18 - Budai 30 - B. Carter 15
Prizes - this event will feature the Bridgestone RX ball.
Vienna team winner - 1 sleeve & 1 lotto chance each
Low net winner - 2 sleeves & 2 lotto chances
Low net runner-up - 1 sleeve & 1 lotto chance
KP winner (# 16) - 1 sleeve & 1 lotto chance
In the woods.....Blair Murdoch, long time regular will spare for Warthogg Odendaal and finds himself among the tour's best players...other spares joining us will be Killeen, Sidonio, Budai & Bob Carter...making their PGA debuts will be Steve Cain and Bruce Davidson....finally welcome back Ron Stinson who last played as a regular in 2004.....
March 28
The True Meaning of a Golf Handicap Explained!
A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and
wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a golf course in the
nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the
pro if he could get on.
"Sure," said the pro, "What's your handicap?"
Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit.
"Well, it's 16," said the businessman, "but what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?" "It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro, "his handicap is 16."
The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle. Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions. They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4.
"It's wise to avoid those trees on the left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head.
The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. "That's the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa . You're lucky I was here with you."
After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par-5. "Good to avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of course, the businessman's ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once again, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.
"I've saved your life again," said the caddy.
The 3rd hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.
"Why didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy. "This is the 17th handicap hole. You don't get a shot here."
And that, my golfing friends, is why you should never lie about your handicap!
Handicaps
Misters Grundy and Volpatti, filling in for Whizzer Backie, have been busy working with historical PGA scoring data in an effort to establish a fair handicap for those members that do not have an established 'cap either at a club or online. If you have an established handicap (online or otherwise) please let Vic know ([email protected]) and provide a link so he can verify. If you should fail to submit your handicap or don't have one your PGA handicap will revert to the statistical information compiled using your PGA scores only.
Rookie Bruce Davidson and returning regular Ron Stinson will start the season as 18's. We are still waiting to hear from rookie Steve Cain for his handicap information.
Squamish Opener - Prizes
As posted earlier the team game for the April 7th season opener at Squamish will be Vienna, a foursome team game. Please click on "rules" for the game details.
The prizes for Squamish will be as follows:
Low net - 2 sleeves of balls - 2 charity lotto chances
runner up low net - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
KP on # 16 - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Team winner - 1 sleeve each - 1 lotto chance each
Our tee times start at 10:36 am so please arrive at 10 am so we can organize. Groups and tee times will be posted next week.
Calcutta @ Furry Creek
Having weighed our options and other considerations (year end party at BeerHead's in North Van) Furry Creek in Lions Bay has been chosen to host this year's Calcutta on Sat. June 23rd. Our tee times start at 10 am and include carts and a beer and hot dog at the turn.
in the bush......El Cid Murdoch will spare for Warthogg Odendaal at Squamish....Killer Killen's rehab has gone so well he played two rounds of golf this weekend and is available for anyone needing a spare for one of the upcoming events.....our other rehabbing member Whizzer Backie reports he is doing well and may start some chipping and putting this week...please check your schedules and ask early if you need a spare in the future.....
March 18
Web-Site up and Running
As you can see our Director of Communications Dawgballs Taylor has re-established the web-site and it will be the source for all Pretenders Golf Association information going forward this season.
2012 Dues
There are still some regulars who have not paid their yearly dues that were due last week. To avoid a even larger sanctions please remit your dues quickly.
Spares
Please look at your schedules and advise us if you need a spare for any of this year's events. We have a number of spares interested in playing so with some lead time we can maintain our numbers for each event. Its never to soon to ask for a spare.
Handicaps
With our historic Stats Director Whizzer Backie currently unavailable and rehabbing his knee, Stretch Grundy & "Mr. Bean" Volpatti have graciously accepted the task. We encourage all players to establish a handicap if they have not already done so. If you do not have a handicap one will be provided for you given the best information (historical PGA scores etc) available. There are many cheap online handicaps systems including myscorecard.com where we already have a group set up.
It would be appreciated if rookies Steve Cain and Bruce Davidson along with Ron Stinson could send their current handicaps (or estimate) to Stretch ([email protected])
2012 Charity/Prizes
The 2012 Charity has not yet been selected but will be by early April. Once again each event (except for the Tripper Cup matches and Calcutta) will feature top tier golf balls and lotto chances for the charity tax receipt as prizes. Details to follow.
Squamish Valley - Sat. April 7th
As in many recent seasons we open the 2012 season at Squamish Valley on Sat. April 7th (less then 3 weeks away) with tee times starting at 10:36 am. Squamish Head Pro Dan Trevisan advises that the course is quite dry even with this winter's weather and is convinced it will be in very good shape by April 7th. The opening game will be "Vienna". Please click on "rules" for the game details. Foursomes will be announced a few days before the event.
Tripper Cup Matches
We will be staying at the Westridge Inn (http://www.westridgeinn.com/) during the Tripper Cup matches (June 9 & 10). They offer a golf rate of 120.00 per room (2 sharing) and have blocked off a number of rooms for us on Friday June 9th and Sat. June 10th. Please call 1-800-977-8711 or 1-250-495-7322 and speak to Rhonnie and tell her you are with the Pretenders Golf league. Best to ask a ground level room by the lawn and do it quickly to avoid disappointment.
Ace Brown fired a solid net 67 to finish with a Green Jacket total of 346 to edge out a late season charge by CPR Stinson to win the coveted Green Jacket emblematic of Pretender golf supremacy. CPR's net 66 was good enough to win the event but his late season charge was not enough to oust the veteran Brown who won his first Green Jacket.
Going into the Calcutta round Ace was tied with Shunner Borland and Docme Dick Burns at 279 but both could not match Ace and finished 2nd and 4th respectively in the race for the jacket. CPR's late season heroics saw him climb into the runnerup spot with Shunner. Scores and pics to follow. If you have any pics you want to share send them to [email protected].
Team C. N. Madsen Wins Calcutta
C. N. Madsen - Sidonio - Killeen and White won the Calcutta with a score of 21 under. The Commish's team (CPR, Mr. Bean, and Hamburgler) were runnersup at 18 under and Knuckles' KnuckleHeads (Ace, BeerHead and Bruno) took third at 16 under.
Athletics for Kids
With all the winning Calcutta teams donating their prize money to the cause we raised over 2,700.00 for this year's charity, Athletics for Kids. (http://www.a4k.ca/). Please check out their website as they do good work and I'm sure everyone on tour is pleased to help them out as this season's charitable cause.
2013 Season
We are already looking forward to the 2013 season which will start Saturday April 6th, 2013. With Killer Killeen and El Cid Sidonio who spared this year expressing their desire to return next season as regulars along with, we hope, Whizzer Backie (knee surgery) we will likely see the tour return to 24 regulars next year.
Possible trip destinations include returning to Kamloops to play the newly renovated Kamloops Golf Club, Bellingham to play Loomis Trial and Semiahmoo and Pemberton to play Big Sky and The Meadows at Pemberton. There is also a chance we travel to Peachland to play the Ponderosa course which has been completely redone by Greg Norman and should be in play by next June.
Finally, next year's Calcutta is earmarked to be played at the new Pagoda Ridge course in Langley on Saturday June 22nd, 2013. The course (google Pagoda Ridge) should be opened sometime this summer and looks very promising.
Kudos
Thanks to all our players who again showed their competitiveness, fair play, and generosity throughout the year. Thanks to BeerHead and his wife Maureen (mostly Maureen and Docme for delegating the food) for again hosting the year end bbq. Thanks to Dawgballs Taylor whose tireless work to improve the website is greatly appreciated. Thanks to Knuckles Garries for working with the Charity and Killer Killeen for his work at the 19th hole collecting for the charity. Last but not least a big thankyou to Stretch Grundy for an amazing job as this year's Director of Handicaps. Stretch was able to convince, cajole and subtlety threaten to the point where every PGA member now has a legitimate handicap.
Also a big shout out to Alex Mr. Bean Volpatti and KPMG for donating a ton of prizes. Thanks Bean!!
Keep working on your games and see you next season.
June 19
Dr. Golf Makes His Picks
With every Pretender having now fully digested Killer's odds as conjured by Bodog Europe, long time mysterious entity Dr. Golf weighs in on Saturday's Calcutta and the Green Jacket Race.
Dr. Golf says Bodog is Close
In the opinion of celebrated golf know it all Dr. Golf the odds posted earlier by Bodog Europe are workable but as usual he sees things just a bit differently. Odds are not given but Dr. Golf lists his top three choices for Calcutta and Green Jacket stardom.
Calcutta
Before we go about the business of predictions one must consider the playing surface. Furry Creek delivered by the now departed Robert Muir Graves was first opened in 1993 as a private course but soon opened to the public in 1994 when management could not find enough members. The prevailing thought at the time was because the course was too hard. While Furry has been softened a bit over the years it remains a very difficult but short course with umpteen places to lose balls and shots. It places a premium on course management and rewards a conservative well thought out game plan. However, with 6 par 5 holes of which only the 4th and 11th are considered true 3 shot par 5's the gambler who can keep his nerve can be nicely rewarded.
First - Team Garries: 4 mid range 'caps who generally keep the ball in play. Handy when one considers all the trouble at Furry Creek on just about every hole. Strong overall group but will rookie Bruno feel the Calcutta heat?
Second - Team Burns: If Docme can coach and "manage" his teams performances they look like the best chance to usurp the Garries squad. Will get a boost if El Cidrick Murdoch shows up severely hungover.
Third - Team Taylor - Once again 4 mid range 'caps who keep the ball in play. Look for Hoss to surprise as although not long he is now one of the tour's straightest drivers and rarely loses a ball. Good qualities on a touch course for a 22 cap.
Green Jacket Race
Winner - Shunner: His early season scores were all throw aways and has been playing very well the last few events so may be our first repeat Green Jacket winner. Has the right blend of risk taking and conservatism to not be intimidated by Furry. Look for a Calcutta score of net 69 to set the standard at 348.
Both Ace and Docme currently tied with Shunner have a chance but neither have the tee shot consistency to really challenge. Docme's power on the par 5's could give him some advantage.
If looking for a dark horse or someone from farther down the current leaders list look squarely at Lefty Sherk and HappyFeet Walters. Lefty, playing with his golf "mentor" Docme will receive instruction on every shot and the veteran may just have enough to grab the spoils if he can fight the Furry Creek demons has he has the length to exploit the short par 5's.. HappyFeet has dis-spelled the myth that he aims everything at least one fairway to the left and has been hitting the ball consistently straight for most of the season despite the tour's most colourful swing. A round of net 68 just might be enough to get him the Green Jacket.
BeerHead: His par 3 prowess won't be enough.
Citizen: Rookie will cave to Calcutta and Fuzzy pressure.
CPR: To many trouble spots for this player on the rise.
Commish - Not straight, not smart, not a chance.
Stretch - Too tall, his height will further distort this already short course and will mentally upset our 'cap Guru.
I checked with my bookie contacts in London at Bodog Europe to see how they handicapped the internationally famous upcoming Calcutta at Fury Creek
Here is the line as of 10:00 am June 19
Garries. 7/5
Burns. 8 - 1
Carter. 15 - 1
Borland. 25 - 1
Madsen. 50 - 1
Taylor. 75 - 1
The odds makers were concerned about the apparent amount of sand bagging. In spite of this they indicated they will stand behind the odds provided all golfers scoring net 67 or less will be disqualified. As professional odds makers they confirm that net scores of 67 or less are statistically impossible. This could be a serious blow to the Carter team.
Paul Killeen
Calcutta Teams Determined
Using a weighted handicap system the teams for the annual Pretenders Golf Association Calcutta were drawn yesterday afternoon. To accommodate the spares who helped us out in the past we have added a sixth time so our first time is now at 9:50 am at Furry Creek. Please arrive at the course no later than 9:15 am. With the added group the payout is now 1,200.00 and will be awarded thusly:
First - 600.00 (150.00 per)
2nd - 400.00 (100.00 per)
3rd - 200.00 (50.00 per)
Team Captains are in BOLD and are responsible for collecting all monies and remitting to the Commissioner.
9:50 - Garries(15)/Brown(18) - Player(21)/Davidson(22)
10 - Borland(8)/Walters(18) - Tibble(21)/Odendaal(33)
10:10 - Burns(9)/Goulding(20) - Murdoch(18)/Sherk(23)
10:20 - Madsen(8)/Sidonio(18) - Killeen(15)/White(36)
10:30 - Taylor(15)/Grundy(18) - Cain(18)/Alexander(22)
10:40 - Carter(15)/Maynard(18) - Stinson(25)/Volpatti(26)
As in the past each team counts 2 net scores per hole but each player MUST have his score counted at least 6 times.
All PGA rules are in effect. Since it looks like it could be wet we will determine if we play summer or winter rules after consulting with the course pro. KP will be on the 107 yard 5th hole.
Green Jacket Race
This is the closest Green Jacket Race in recent history with Shunner, Ace and Docme all tied atop the leader board at 279. 2 shots back are BeerHead and HappyFeet Flintstone and all together there are 10 players within 8 shots. Should one of the leaders play poorly and someone come up with a great round any of the top 10 could be wearing green on Saturday evening. Please click "scores" for details.
BBQ Dinner
Our dinner budget was compromised by too much spending on the actual golf outings this year so we are asking each player for 10.00 to offset the cost of renting the plates and cutlery etc. Please give your 10.00 along with your 50.00 Calcutta money to your Captains who will in turn give the money to the Commissioner who will then give BeerHead the extra 240.00.
We will post Dr. Golf's predictions on the Green Jacket race and the Calcutta later in the week.
June 13
Three Battle Belmont to Share Win
Ace Brown and Lefty Sherk along with Hoss Alexander adapted best to the soft conditions at Belmont to share net medalist honors at the Belmont Golf Club each recording 67's in the PGA's 5th event of the season. Ace has now firmly placed himself as one of the favorites to win the coveted green jacket.
Ace's team of HappyFeet Walters, Teddy Budai and Warthogg Odendaal won the Hero & Zero team competition with a combined net 139. HappyFeet won the long drive on #10 and BeerHead Player took the KP on # 14. Please see "scores" for full details.
Tripper Cup Matches
The Tripper Cup teams were decided by lottery at the 19th hole. The Tripper Cup Matches return after a one year hiatus and will be played this weekend (June 9 & 10) in the Osoyoos/Oliver area. Saturday at Nk'Mip (tee times start at 12:44 pm) feature 2 man team matches and Sunday at Fairview Mountain (tee times start at 11:23 am) feature singles matches. This year the singles match will not count for the Green Jacket. The Green Jacket will be awarded for the best 4 net scores and the Calcutta.
Here are the teams drawn:
Docme's Darling DragQueens - Captain: Docme Dick Burns
Bruno Davidson - Ace Brown - El Cid Sidonio - Warthogg Odendaal - Citizen Cane - Shunner Borland - Knuckles Garries - CockNose Madsen - Stretch Grundy - CPR Stinson - BeerHead Player
Chowder's CockSuck the Moose Men - Captain: Chowder Carter
Mr. Bean Volpatti - Muscles White - JMac McKenzie - Dawgballs Taylor - Tiki Tibble - Mumbles Goulding - El Cidrick Murdoch - Hoss Alexander - Killer Killeen* - HappyFeet Walters - Rothwell/Player (for Lefty Sherk).
*Vice Captain
The 2 man team matches will be drawn at the 19th hole after our Friday practice round. The singles matches will be drawn at dinner on Saturday at Nk'Mip after the team matches.
Tripper Cup Scoring/Rules
1. All match scoring will be net scores.
2. All previous PGA rules are in effect including:
a. Everyone must putt out regardless of the situation unless the putt is for a 9. Putts within 1 foot may be given by your opponent if they so choose.
b. Play all OB and crap etc like its a lateral hazard. Take a drop within 2 club lengths (no closer to the hole) and play away with a one shot penalty. The time limit to search for lost balls will be 3 minutes and will be policed by your opponent.
Each match is worth 3 points. 1 point for each the front and back nines plus one point for the overall match winner. The team matches (net scores) will be low vs low and high vs high with 2 pts available on each hole as in the past. If a match is tied after nine or 18 each team will be awarded 1/2 point.
18 points are available for the day one team matches with 36 points available during the day two singles matches. 54 points are available in total. The team that wins at least 28 points will be declared the Tripper Cup Champions.
Good luck to everyone and both teams!
power fades.......CockNose Madsen was not missed at Belmont - no one even asked about him.....Knuckles Garries and Bruno Davidson were asked about by several chaps.....Lefty Sherk's shared win at Belmont gives him two victories matching Tiger Woods on that other tour......Docme Dick Burns (78) shot an even par 35 on the front but faded down the stretch 3 putting four times and was passed by Shunner Borland's very solid round of 77 for low gross bragging rights....with the green jacket race heating up the scores on average were the best of the season......
May 29
Hero & Zero
The 5th PGA event of the season will be played in Langley at Belmont Golf Club where we will play a new team game, Hero & Zero. Each foursome will add together their top net score (Hero) along with their low net score (The Zero) to accumulate their team score. Then the middle two team members will decide if the Zero should get his portion of the prize or if it should go to the Hero. Our first tee time is 11 am so please arrive no later than 10:30 am
See handicap page for your new cap . Spares cap is listed below.
The KP hole will be on the downhill 190 yard par 3 14th and, after a long spell of having no long drive contest, we will have one on the short & tight 300 yard par 4 10th.
Foursomes -
11 am - Sherk - Killeen - Goulding - Player
11:09 - Borland - Volpatti - Cain - Taylor
11:18 - Grundy - Tibble - Stinson - Sidonio
11:27 - Brown - Budai - Odendaal - Walters
11:36 - Burns - White - Alexander - Carter
Tripper Cup Draw
The 2 Tripper Cup teams will be drawn via lottery at the 19th hole on Saturday. After the draw the historical Captains, Docme Dick Burns and Commish Carter will set up the matches for Saturday's 2 man team matches at Nk'Mip as well name their vice Captain. The Tripper Cup goes the weekend of June 9 & 10 in Osoyoos/Oliver. The singles matches will be played at the jewel of the south Okanagan, Fairview Mountain.
on the fringe - once again we thank spares Killer Killeen 15 (Madsen), Teddy Budai 28 (Garries) and ElCid Sidonio 18 (Davidson) for coming to complete the foursomes....the Tripper Cup will feature two 12 man teams playing 2 man team matches on Saturday and single matches on Sunday.....
May 15
Bruno Edges Stretch at Swanny
Our 4th event played at the Resort course at Swan-e-set was led by our new statsman Stretch Grundy whose net 70 looked to be a winner until Bruno Davidson, playing in the final group, recorded the only score in the 60's with a net 69 to win by one. Shunner Borland won the KP on #16 with a shot to about 6 feet. Please see "scores" for details.
The Pink Ball game was closely contested as well with captain CPR Stinson calling the shots to lead the firm of Lefty Sherk, Mumbles Goulding, Commish Carter and himself to pink ball glory. The commish lost the ball on the 16th hole tee shot. As is tradition all 5 players who lost the pink ball each bought a jug of beer at the 19th hole. Most groups did a great job keeping the "pinkie" playing at the Resort course which presents many challenges with no where to miss on most holes.
Green Jacket Race
With the season now officially at the half way pole the Green Jacket race is beginning to take shape but with Sunday at the Tripper Cup and the Calcutta as "must" count rounds anyone on tour still has a chance.
The half way point leaders feature a front running group of Lefty Sherk, HappyFeet Walters, and Ace Brown with CockNose Madsen, Shunner Borland, Stretch Grundy and Docme Dick Burns poised should the front runners falter.
Event #5 - Belmont June 2nd 11 am
We now have a 3 week hiatus before the season gets serious with 4 rounds in June starting June 2nd at Belmont in Langley. The team game in Langley will be a 4 man competition called "Hero and Zero". The best and worst net scores will count so the team exercise will be to support your team mates as the worst score will be at least as important as the best score. The team whose combined score (best and worst net scores) wins. The the winning team can vote on if the "worst' score deserves to be included in the prizes or funnel the Zero's prize to the Hero.
Foursomes & Captains etc will be posted a few days before the event.
Tripper Cup
Don't forget we are going to play the Tripper Cup (Ryder Cup) again this year in Osoyoos the weekend of June 9/10. We have 4 spares (Killer Killeen - TeddyDonna Budai - El Cid1 Murdoch - ElCid2 Sidonio) coming to make 2 teams of 12 men each to play Ryder Cup style matches. The teams will be drawn by lottery and the first day 2 man team matches determined at the 19th hole at Belmont. As is tradition the teams will be captained by Docme Dick Burns and the Commissioner. The captains will announce their vice captains once the teams are drawn.
Westridge Inn
We chose the Westridge Inn because we have stayed there before and it suited our needs well. Some guys have had some problems getting through to the Westridge Inn via telephone likely due to challenges experiences by new ownership. The hotel's number is 1-800-977-8711. If you have tried before and left a message with no return call please call 1-250-535-3355 to contact the owner Ronnie (woman) direct. Ask to book rooms near the Lawn and Pool. The rate given for us is 129.00 for a room with 2 queen beds. Please let her know you are with the Tom Carter/Pretenders golf group.
Taps in.....Killer Killeen and Teddydonna Budai return to the tour at Belmont sparing for Knuckles and CockNose.....it will be our first time playing Hero & Zero so it will be interesting to see if the Zero is included in the prizing or thrown under the bus by his team mates.....
May 7
Updated Foursomes -
Warthogg - Docme - Mr. Bean - Hoss - 11am
Knuckles - Stretch - Ace - Tiki - 11:09
CPR - Lefty - Mumbles - Commish - 11:18
Dawgballs - Flintstone - Cocknose - Muscles - 11:27
Shunner - BeerHead - Bruno - Citizen - 11:36
Hazelmere Killed by Killeen
Playing in surprisingly good conditions on a sunny but cool day at the 50 year old Hazelmere Golf Club, Killer Killeen shot a net 69 to edge out Flintstone Walters' solid net 70 to win the day at the Pretenders third event of the season.
BeerHead Player who earned 11 putting points, hit the jackpot by drawing Killer who amassed 18 points (17 on the front side) and together their 29 points won the 2 man team event. Please click on "scores" for full details.
Charity Chosen - Its for the Kids!
After much debate this year's charity is Athletics for Kids. Please check out their website:
http://www.a4k.ca/ They help kids in financially challenged situations get involved in sports. Something we can all relate to.
Swan-e-set Sat. May 12th - The Return of Pinkie
A quick turn around takes us to Swan-e-set Bay Resort in Pitt Meadows for our annual Pink ball game this Saturday. The current forecast on Saturday for the area is sunny and 20 degrees. Tee times begin at 11 and include a small bucket of practice balls so please allow for extra time if you want to hit balls. For full Pink ball rules please click on "rules" and scroll down to Faggot. At this time we stress when (not if) you lose the pink ball the group has 2 minutes to find the ball. The time will be kept by the group Captain (and most likely by the group behind). Any time transgressions will receive severe sanctions.
Foursomes - CAPTAINS in BOLD
Warthogg - Docme - Mr. Bean - Hoss - 11am
Knuckles - Stretch - Bruno - Tiki - 11:09
CPR - Lefty - Mumbles - Commish - 11:18
Dawgballs - Flintstone - Cocknose - Muscles - 11:27
Shunner - BeerHead - Bruno - Citizen - 11:36
KP will be on the 140 yard par 3 16th hole.
out of the rough......Killer will miss at Swanny as this is the first event of the season where all 20 PGA regulars are in the field.....we have 2 weeks off after Swanny - returning Saturday June 2nd at Belmont in Langley.....nice to see Warthogg make his 2012 debut at Hazelmere...if you don't know the pga nicknames above you will be sanctioned.....
May 1
PGA Hurries to Hazelmere May 5th
The PGA kicks off the month of May with our third event of the season at Hazelmere Golf Club in South Surrey. Our tee times begin at 11 am so please be at the course about 10:30. The current forecast for Surrey on Saturday is mostly sunny and 13. However with the anticipated rain expected during the week everyone will play from the 6,100 yard White tees. See Handicaps page for your cap.
Play is available from the RED tees for those wearing a Dress. Kilts, skorts or skirts do not qualify as a Dress. A Dress is a full garment that must have shoulder straps.
Olympic Putting Team Game
The team game this week will be the Olympic putting game. Once everyone is on the green the foursome's Captain will determine who is furthest from the hole and successful putts will be rewarded points...4,3,2 & 1 from the longest to the shortest. If a player chips in he earns 5 points and the remaining putts are worth 3,2 and 1 point.
As in the past the Olympic team partners will be determined by a blind draw at the 19th hole. Each foursome is encouraged to determine internal two man teams by tossing a tee and wager on the outcome.
The KP contest will be at the 135 yard par 3 17th.
Prize Allotment
Low net - two sleeves & 2 lotto chances
runner up - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Olympic putting team - 2 sleeves - 2 lotto chances
KP - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Groups - Captain in Caps
11 am - Grundy - Player - White - Cain
11:09 - Walters - Madsen - Borland - Carter
11:17 - Taylor - Burns - Brown - Goulding
11:26 - Volpatti - Sherk - Odendaal - Alexander
11:35 - Tibble - Davidson - Stinson - Killeen
in the rough.....Knuckles Garries will miss the Hazelmere event with Killer Killeen once again stepping in to play....we are at in again a week Saturday (May 12th) returning to long time regular pga course Swan-e-set before taking a hiatus until June where we finish strong with Belmont (June 2nd) the trip (June 9/10 - Nk'Mip and Fairview Mountain) and the Calcutta at Furry Creek (June 23rd)
April 25
Lefty is Crowned King at The LinksPlaying with Docme Dick Burns who can't help but coach, PGA veteran Lefty Sherk shot a rock solid net 68 in blustery conditions at Kings Links to win the 2nd PGA event of the season. Ironically Lefty edged out Docme who fired a net 69. Ron "CPR" Stinson hit it to 4 feet to win the 13th hole KP contest.
The rotating Captain team game was won by the firm of Madsen - Cain - Player and Killeen whose 1 under par team score bested the field. Please click on "scores" for full details. Thanks to spare Hammer Smith for arranging another excellent outing at The Links for us.
May 5th - Hazelmere - Tee times start @ 11 am
The 3rd event of the season will be played May 5th at Hazelmere Golf Club in south Surrey. This is the first time the PGA has played Hazelmere as a group and for those who haven't played the now 50 year old course recently, major reno's were completed a few years ago to improve drainage so the course should be in good shape.
This is the first of the three West Coast Golf Group courses we will play this season. Swan-e-set (May 12th) and Belmont (June 2nd) follow.
The team game and foursomes will be posted next week.
cuts and draws....welcome back Warthogg Odendaal who will make his 2012 debut at Hazelmere....and once again Killer Killeen will spare, this time for Knuckles Garries....the team game will likey be the Olympic putting challenge but with a twist....Ron Stinson's nickname was changed by his group from 2PR (2 Putt Ron) to CPR "because his game is on life support".....
pril 18
Kings Links to Challenge PGA
The second event of the PGA season will feature one of the few true links courses in Canada as Kings Links by the Sea welcomes the PGA tour. The course has made some minor alterations (smaller lake on #10 and no water infront of # 15) but the greens have settled nicely and the course is currently playing mostly dry and fast. The current forecast in Delta for Saturday is mostly sunny and 14 Celsius.
Our tee times start at 10:06 so please arrived about 9:30 am. The course is located beside the Boundary Bay Airport. Here is a directions link:
http://www.kingslinks.ca/contactus_directions.php
Federal Government Contacts PGA
The honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Mininster of Canada, has contacted the PGA to request that we conform with the new upcoming old age regulations by pushing back the PGA age to play the white tees to 67 from 65. This will be discussed internally with the Handicap Directors and a decision will be made prior to tee off.
Commissioners note:
The handicaps for each event that are set by Director of Statistics Vic Grundy are calculated using the slope and rating of the blue tees.
If you are eligible and choose to play from the white or forward tees your handicap will be adjusted to reflect the change in slope and rating.
For this Saturdays event at The Kings Links if you play the white tees your handicap will be two strokes less than indicated on the web site.
The Game - Prizes
This week's game will be "St. Alice" a game with rotating Captains where two net scores count on each hole. For full details please click on "Rules" and go to "St. Alice".
KP will be on the 131 yard par 3 13th hole.
Low net - 2 sleeves - 2 lotto chances
runner-up - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
St. Alice team winner - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
KP - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Foursomes & Captains (in bold)
10:06 - Volpatti( 23) - Davidson(22) - Taylor(15)- Carter (15)
10:15 - Grundy - Garries (15) - Brown (18) - Alexander (22)
10:24 - Burns (9) - Tibble (21) - Sherk (25) - Stinson (25)
10:33 - Goulding (20) - Borland (9) - Walters (18) - White (36)
10:42 - Player (21) - Killeen (19) - Cain (19) - Madsen (8)
Captains are responsible for collecting 10.00 each from their playing partners for prizes. Please give the money to Knuckles.
Out of bounds......Killer Killeen is back this week subbing for Warthogg Odendaal, we expect Louie to return on May 5th at Hazelmere.....Docme Dick Burns best ever & one of the best ever PGA scores was a one under par 71 at Kings Links a few years ago.....our round at Hazelmere will be our first at the south Surrey track....
April 11
Sunny Squamish for Season OpenerPlaying under sunny skies on a crystal clear day the Pretenders Golf Association's opener on Squamish Valley featured ideal conditions with Tiki Tibble taking medalist honours with a solid net 68. He was followed by spare Ted Budai who fashioned a net 69. The team Vienna event was won by the Mustache Men who rode a hot Budai to a 16 under team score. KP was won by Dawgballs Taylor. For all results please click on "scores".
Event #2 - April 21st @ Kings LinksThe second event of the season goes Saturday April 21st at Kings Links in Delta next to the Boundary Bay airport. Our tee times start at 10:06. Please arrive at the course at 9:30 am so we can organize.
Foursomes and team game will be posted next week.
last six inches down....thanks to the spares for coming out on Saturday, El Cid Murdoch, TeddyDonna Budai, Killer Killeen and El Cid2 Sidonio....rookies Steve Cain and Bruce Davidson made successful debuts (no sanctions) and were given pga names of Citizen and Bruno respectively....golf trip tip from Lefty Sherk: when renting a car make sure you get two keys and make sure two different people have one each.....losing the only key cost Lefty 600.00 in Palm Springs this winter.....
April 4
PGA 2012 Opener this Saturday
It appears the weatherman will co-operate for the 2012 PGA opener at Squamish forecasting mostly sunny skies and a springlike 13 Celsius! Our times begin at 10:36 am so please be at the course about 10 am. We have added a 6th group to accommodate the interest from some spares to play in the opener.
PGA Rules - Group Captain
Here are the "PGA" rules we will start the season with. Our hope is that they will make for an even playing field but we must be aware of our pace of play so each group will be assigned a Captain who will be responsible for enforcing the rules and making sure his group plays at a reasonable pace.
1. "PGA" rule in effect: All OB, crap, ponds and other areas in which a ball can be lost will be played as a lateral hazard. If the ball is lost the player has 2 minutes to locate the ball as timed by the group Captain. If the ball can't be found within the allotted time please drop within 2 club lengths of where the ball entered the hazard and continue play. One stroke penalty.
2. The max score for PGA scoring purposes on any single hole will be 9 for everyone regardless of what the new official golf handicap rules dictate. Once you have made 9 strokes please pickup. For official handicapping purposes only, please follow the new rules as dictated by the Royal & Ancient and CGA.
3. No gimme or conceded putts unless the putt in question is for a 9.
4. Winter rules or summer rules will be determined by the conditions at each course. At Squamish we will play winter rules (6 inch improved) through the green.
Tee Times - Foursomes - Handicaps
Here are the groups for Saturday's play. We will be playing the 4 man team game Vienna. Please click on "rules" for game details. Group CAPTAINS are in capitals and will collect the 10.00 prize money from each of their team members and police the rules as above.
10:36 - GRUNDY 17 - Sherk 24 - Tibble 20 - Player 21
10:45 - BURNS 8 - Madsen 7 - Borland 7 - Murdoch 18
10:54 - ALEXANDER 23 - White 34 - Killeen 18 - Goulding 19
11:03 - TAYLOR 14 - Stinson 22 - Walters 18 - Sidonio 17
11:12 - GARRIES 14 - Cain 18 - Davidson 18 - Volpatti 22
11:21 - CARTER 14 - Brown 18 - Budai 30 - B. Carter 15
Prizes - this event will feature the Bridgestone RX ball.
Vienna team winner - 1 sleeve & 1 lotto chance each
Low net winner - 2 sleeves & 2 lotto chances
Low net runner-up - 1 sleeve & 1 lotto chance
KP winner (# 16) - 1 sleeve & 1 lotto chance
In the woods.....Blair Murdoch, long time regular will spare for Warthogg Odendaal and finds himself among the tour's best players...other spares joining us will be Killeen, Sidonio, Budai & Bob Carter...making their PGA debuts will be Steve Cain and Bruce Davidson....finally welcome back Ron Stinson who last played as a regular in 2004.....
March 28
The True Meaning of a Golf Handicap Explained!
A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and
wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a golf course in the
nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the
pro if he could get on.
"Sure," said the pro, "What's your handicap?"
Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit.
"Well, it's 16," said the businessman, "but what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?" "It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro, "his handicap is 16."
The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle. Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions. They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4.
"It's wise to avoid those trees on the left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head.
The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. "That's the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa . You're lucky I was here with you."
After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par-5. "Good to avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of course, the businessman's ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once again, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.
"I've saved your life again," said the caddy.
The 3rd hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.
"Why didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy. "This is the 17th handicap hole. You don't get a shot here."
And that, my golfing friends, is why you should never lie about your handicap!
Handicaps
Misters Grundy and Volpatti, filling in for Whizzer Backie, have been busy working with historical PGA scoring data in an effort to establish a fair handicap for those members that do not have an established 'cap either at a club or online. If you have an established handicap (online or otherwise) please let Vic know ([email protected]) and provide a link so he can verify. If you should fail to submit your handicap or don't have one your PGA handicap will revert to the statistical information compiled using your PGA scores only.
Rookie Bruce Davidson and returning regular Ron Stinson will start the season as 18's. We are still waiting to hear from rookie Steve Cain for his handicap information.
Squamish Opener - Prizes
As posted earlier the team game for the April 7th season opener at Squamish will be Vienna, a foursome team game. Please click on "rules" for the game details.
The prizes for Squamish will be as follows:
Low net - 2 sleeves of balls - 2 charity lotto chances
runner up low net - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
KP on # 16 - 1 sleeve - 1 lotto chance
Team winner - 1 sleeve each - 1 lotto chance each
Our tee times start at 10:36 am so please arrive at 10 am so we can organize. Groups and tee times will be posted next week.
Calcutta @ Furry Creek
Having weighed our options and other considerations (year end party at BeerHead's in North Van) Furry Creek in Lions Bay has been chosen to host this year's Calcutta on Sat. June 23rd. Our tee times start at 10 am and include carts and a beer and hot dog at the turn.
in the bush......El Cid Murdoch will spare for Warthogg Odendaal at Squamish....Killer Killen's rehab has gone so well he played two rounds of golf this weekend and is available for anyone needing a spare for one of the upcoming events.....our other rehabbing member Whizzer Backie reports he is doing well and may start some chipping and putting this week...please check your schedules and ask early if you need a spare in the future.....
March 18
Web-Site up and Running
As you can see our Director of Communications Dawgballs Taylor has re-established the web-site and it will be the source for all Pretenders Golf Association information going forward this season.
2012 Dues
There are still some regulars who have not paid their yearly dues that were due last week. To avoid a even larger sanctions please remit your dues quickly.
Spares
Please look at your schedules and advise us if you need a spare for any of this year's events. We have a number of spares interested in playing so with some lead time we can maintain our numbers for each event. Its never to soon to ask for a spare.
Handicaps
With our historic Stats Director Whizzer Backie currently unavailable and rehabbing his knee, Stretch Grundy & "Mr. Bean" Volpatti have graciously accepted the task. We encourage all players to establish a handicap if they have not already done so. If you do not have a handicap one will be provided for you given the best information (historical PGA scores etc) available. There are many cheap online handicaps systems including myscorecard.com where we already have a group set up.
It would be appreciated if rookies Steve Cain and Bruce Davidson along with Ron Stinson could send their current handicaps (or estimate) to Stretch ([email protected])
2012 Charity/Prizes
The 2012 Charity has not yet been selected but will be by early April. Once again each event (except for the Tripper Cup matches and Calcutta) will feature top tier golf balls and lotto chances for the charity tax receipt as prizes. Details to follow.
Squamish Valley - Sat. April 7th
As in many recent seasons we open the 2012 season at Squamish Valley on Sat. April 7th (less then 3 weeks away) with tee times starting at 10:36 am. Squamish Head Pro Dan Trevisan advises that the course is quite dry even with this winter's weather and is convinced it will be in very good shape by April 7th. The opening game will be "Vienna". Please click on "rules" for the game details. Foursomes will be announced a few days before the event.
Tripper Cup Matches
We will be staying at the Westridge Inn (http://www.westridgeinn.com/) during the Tripper Cup matches (June 9 & 10). They offer a golf rate of 120.00 per room (2 sharing) and have blocked off a number of rooms for us on Friday June 9th and Sat. June 10th. Please call 1-800-977-8711 or 1-250-495-7322 and speak to Rhonnie and tell her you are with the Pretenders Golf league. Best to ask a ground level room by the lawn and do it quickly to avoid disappointment.